1. How much variation is there in your sentence structures in the current draft? Can you spot any repetitive or redundant sentence patterns in your writing? Provide a cogent analysis of what the Rules for Writers reading tells you about your sentences.
I would say that while there is a decent amount of variety, all of my sentences introducing the stakeholders start off the same way and have the same length. Because of this, I will definitely change those scenes around in my Video Essay.
I might redo some of my narration to smooth out some of the paragraphs, as well. In one instance in the draft, I am quoted as saying: "The Rosetta lander landed on...". Lander and landed in such close proximity ruins the flows and understanding of the sentence and paragraph as a whole.
2. What about paragraph structures, including transitions between different paragraphs (or, for video/audio projects, different sections of the project)?
My transition slides are on point, I would say. While there is little to no animation in the film, I explain what will happen in the next scenes rather well. If there is one thing I should change, it is the language of some of the slides. Some seem confusing, such as the slide labeled: "Not So Fast...".
3. What about vocabulary? Is there variety and flavor in your use of vocabulary? What are the main strengths and weaknesses of the draft's approach to vocabulary?
My vocabulary is varied between simplistic words used to keep the audience interested in a controversy with some rather complex elements and more interesting vocabulary. Words such as rendezvous, distinct, and opposition make their appearance. However, the word good is used perhaps far too many times!
Overall, my vocabulary for this project is rather strong; but I should still make several changes.
Movieing Memories Wedding Videography. HD CinematicWedding Videographer Videography Video Production Austin. September 4th, 2007 via Flickr. Attribution License.
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