First and foremost I really enjoyed the essay. It was very well written and very informative about the topic. I chose to look at the form in my review. I personally think that you did a good job using the genre conventions to guide your essay. I liked the subsections and the use of a cover page. The subsections made it very easy to follow your ideas. Overall I think you should try to build up why these arguments are so great a little more but either way it is a very effective paper.
I really liked your essay; it is very well written and your ideas come across very thoroughly. Unfortunately, I have to disagree with the above comment. I think the subsections do not follow the conventions of a standard college essay and would recommend to remove them. Instead I think you should write in some transitional sentences so that your ideas are still separated, but have something to connect them.
I think that this is a really well-written paper, however I have to agree with the above comment. I think that it would be safer and just as effective to simply use transitions instead of separating out your ideas with sub-headings. I don't think that they're necessary in order to make your argument. I think it's better to follow the genre conventions.
Hello Joshua, I believe the above two comments are correct in saying that your essay should use well placed transitional sentences to fit the genre better. However my review was regarding the content of your essay. I believe your essay was of adequate length and had various topics with many sources, which are all great, and your essay is doing well. The one major thing I would like you to add is detailed analysis of the quotes or sources you are pulling into your essay, especially in the first four paragraphs, as they often only have a sentence or less of analysis, while ideally they should have three.
First and foremost I really enjoyed the essay. It was very well written and very informative about the topic. I chose to look at the form in my review. I personally think that you did a good job using the genre conventions to guide your essay. I liked the subsections and the use of a cover page. The subsections made it very easy to follow your ideas. Overall I think you should try to build up why these arguments are so great a little more but either way it is a very effective paper.
ReplyDeleteI really liked your essay; it is very well written and your ideas come across very thoroughly. Unfortunately, I have to disagree with the above comment. I think the subsections do not follow the conventions of a standard college essay and would recommend to remove them. Instead I think you should write in some transitional sentences so that your ideas are still separated, but have something to connect them.
ReplyDeleteI think that this is a really well-written paper, however I have to agree with the above comment. I think that it would be safer and just as effective to simply use transitions instead of separating out your ideas with sub-headings. I don't think that they're necessary in order to make your argument. I think it's better to follow the genre conventions.
ReplyDeleteHello Joshua,
ReplyDeleteI believe the above two comments are correct in saying that your essay should use well placed transitional sentences to fit the genre better.
However my review was regarding the content of your essay. I believe your essay was of adequate length and had various topics with many sources, which are all great, and your essay is doing well. The one major thing I would like you to add is detailed analysis of the quotes or sources you are pulling into your essay, especially in the first four paragraphs, as they often only have a sentence or less of analysis, while ideally they should have three.
Keep up the good work!
- Alex McCarthy